• Welcome
  • My Blog
  • Purchase
  • About Me
  • Short Story
    • The Gypsy Casts a Spell
  • Romances
    • First Crush, Last Love
    • Venice in the Moonlight
    • Cera’s Place
  • Mysteries
    • The Great Jewel Robbery
    • Murder up to Bat
    • Killer Resolutions

Elizabeth McKenna

~ Author

Elizabeth McKenna

Tag Archives: Humor

His Fake Alien Fiancee by Patricia Eimer – Book Tour

10 Friday Feb 2017

Posted by Elizabeth McKenna - Author in Book Tour

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Adult, Giveaway, Humor, Romance, Science Fiction

His Fake Alien Fiancee

by Patricia Eimer
Out of this World #2
Publication Date: February 6, 2017
Genres: Adult, Entangled: Select Otherworld, Standalone, Sci-Fi, Romance, Funny, Fake Relationship

BUY:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/2jwcA7L
Paperback: http://amzn.to/2k9V2As
B&N: http://bit.ly/2jLUnGW
iBooks: http://apple.co/2jLZDtY
Kobo: http://bit.ly/2kHClUq
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/2kLoikd
Amazon CA: http://amzn.to/2kLojEN
Amazon AU: http://amzn.to/2kLp7tr

SYNOPSIS: Princess Perripraxis not only has to find a fiancé—and fast—she’s got to find one who doesn’t mind that her “no makeup” face has green and purple scales. Otherwise, Daddy Dearest has plans that don’t include Perri’s compliance. Candidate Number One: Her sexy human best friend, Brandt.

Bartender Brandt Turner didn’t need all those years in the army to teach him never to leave a man behind. Or an alien princess in need of a pretend fiancé. If she needs someone to play the lovesick fool to convince her dad to let her stay on Earth, well then, he’ll let the world think Cupid finally took him out.

But Perri’s father has no intention of playing nice—and he’s not above cruel and unusual alien torture to make things go his way. But Brandt is willing to complete the mission…however far he has to go.

goodreads-badge-add-38px

ABOUT PATRICIA EIMER

Patricia Eimer is a suburban mom who has days where she feels like she’s barely hanging on. She currently lives in eastern Pennsylvania with her two wonderful kids and a husband that learned the gourmet art of frozen pizzas to give her more time to write. When she’s not writing—or shuttling her children to a hundred different places a day– she can be found trying to cook (and sometimes blowing up hard boiled eggs), reading and arguing with her dogs about plot points. Most days the Beagle wins but the Dalmatian is in close second and her mastiff puppy is making a break for the inside. Patricia meanwhile is a longshot fourth.

When she’s not writing she can be found on Facebook, at her website (www.patriciaeimer.com) or blogging about her attempts at cooking and her complete inability to craft as a contributor to the Suburban Flail Blog (www.suburbanflail.com). She is also a connoseiur of really bad science jokes.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Newsletter | Amazon Author Profile

ENTER THE GIVEAWAY


Click to enter the Rafflecopter giveaway

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Tumblr
  • Reddit
  • Print
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...

Chasing Nathan by Jeanette Hubbard – Book Tour

26 Saturday Nov 2016

Posted by Elizabeth McKenna - Author in Book Tour

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Crime, Humor, Mystery, suspense, Women's Fiction

Humorous Crime Novel, Women’s Suspense/Mystery
Date Published:  June 2016
Publisher: Promontory Press

 photo add-to-goodreads-button_zpsc7b3c634.png

Jeanette Hubbard’s humorous style of suspense writing has been compared to Carl Hiaasen and Janet Evanovich. In this quirky follow-up novel, a chance encounter in a remote forest campground plunges plucky retiree Claudie O’Brien into a vortex of crime, kidnapping, and a marijuana hijacking. A pleasant dinner with Nathan, the gentleman at the next campsite, is disrupted by the arrival of a very loud and a very angry young man. The next morning both Nathan and the man are gone, but Claudie suspects something is not right. No one believes her when she tells them that Nathan might be in danger. It’s up to Claudie to connect the dots and find out why Nathan disappeared in the middle of the night.
Other Books By Jeanette Hubbard:

 

Humorous, Women’s Fiction, Women’s Suspense/Mystery
Published: June 2015
On a crisp winter mid-afternoon, Claudie O’Brien finds herself parked in her BMW with some old pills, a bottle of champagne, and no reason to keep on living. When an accident occurs in Claudie’s attempt to take her own life, she finds herself rescued by Peter, a local vice-principal turned tow truck driver. In Secrets, Lies and Champagne Highs, written by first-time novelist Jeanette Hubbard, readers follow Claudie’s journey to Sisters, Oregon,having moved into the remodeled garage of Peter, his two sweet kids, and his not-so-sweet second wife, Chrystal. Claudie quickly realizes that she’s entangled herself in more than she anticipated. On top a botched suicide,there’s the meth lab across the street, a non-existent murder plot turned reality, a phony spiritual guru, and more affairs between local citizens than she can keep straight.
After reading this humorous take on small town life in Central Oregon,  those sleepy little towns will never look the same.

 

Excerpt

Nathan regained consciousness somewhere just before Hammer turned off I5 in Yreka. They had used duct tape on his mouth, hands, and feet, and then wrapped it around his chest and the chair for good measure. He wasn’t going anywhere soon. The blood had crusted on the side of his head where Hammer had clocked him. The pain was deep and centered behind his left eye. He had gotten lax. After all those years in Lebanon, and other more dicey places, he had left his RV unsecured. A child could have found the Glock 39. He wiggled his jaw a bit, the three days growth of beard had prevented the duct tape from adhering securely to his skin, and he worked to loosen it. He didn’t want it to drop noticeably so he did just enough so he could talk or shout if needed. The majority of the space inside the RV was taken up with stacks of plastic-wrapped marijuana bricks. There wasn’t any way he could get to his second, emergency revolver that was hidden under the sink. Pity. Hammer parked the RV in a small park and reached over to the passenger seat where he had a small cooler and pulled out a cold beer. He drank it down in three long pulls and then sat fidgeting for about fifteen minutes before he started calling. First his brother Sprocket, and then someone else called Dwight. Hammer was nervous and agitated. The trick was how to use that to his advantage. 

Nathan watched the single headlight of a truck go by on the road. He knew they were in northern California, an area referred to as the Emerald Triangle. Full of nasty boys. He could only wonder why thieves from Oregon would set up a drug deal in the middle of California’s prime marijuana growing fields. Well, it wasn’t hard to figure out. These weren’t the brightest guys he’d come across. Yet, he was the one tied up. Not time to feel too superior. The truck with one headlight drove by again. A little slower this time.

 “You do know that you’re trying to do your deal in enemy territory?” Hammer jumped a foot off his seat, giving Nathan a small amount of satisfaction.

 “What the fuck? How did you …?” “It’s the beard. Duct tape can’t adhere strongly to it. A good thing too. I have a slight cold. I would have had trouble breathing. I assume you’re not planning to kill me?” 

“Don’t be too sure, old man.” 

“The way I look at it, Hammer—you don’t mind if I call you Hammer?—if your buyer doesn’t get here in the next, say, thirty minutes or so, you’re going to have an up front and probably hazardous to your health kind of confrontation with some local guys. They find out you’re selling dope in their territory, they’re going to be real perturbed. They’re going to have a short and to the point discussion about the lack of respect that demonstrates to them.”

“What the fuck? I didn’t understand half of what you said, old man. Can’t you speak plain American?”

“My name’s Nathan. Sorry about the verbiage. I was a university professor. Big words were my stock and trade, so to speak. To be simple, you may have already attracted the attention of some other bad guys. They may be coming back. If they do, they will probably shoot at you. I don’t like the idea of being in the middle of your shit. Is that plain enough?”

“Don’t you worry about me, Professor, I ain’t exactly unequipped for run-ins with other dudes. This here is one nice pistol. Where’d you get this? You sure don’t look like someone who’d be packing a Glock. Even if it’s a little bitty one like this.” Hammer pulled the gun out from under his seat and waved it in Nathan’s direction. Nathan pretended to flinch; unless the idiot had been playing with it there was no bullet in the chamber, so the deadly weapon was currently just a piece of metal. 

“Don’t worry yourself, Professor, I ain’t hit anything I didn’t want to since I was ten.”

“I have a question for you, Hammer. Why am I here? Why didn’t you just leave me at the campground? I’m just unnecessary baggage. You could kick me out now and there wouldn’t be any way I could muck up your plans.” 

Hammer snorted. “My dumb brother thought you’d freeze or something. Don’t worry, Professor, I’m dumping you as soon as I can.”

Nathan watched him closely. Hammer’s eyes and forehead were scrunched in thought. Nathan assumed he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of the problem that was Nathan. A witness who could identify him. The thought that this idiot might decide on a lethal solution to his problem made Nathan highly uncomfortable. He’d have to help Hammer come up with a resolution that didn’t end up with Nathan rotting in a shallow grave in the forest. There had only been one other time that he’d gotten in a jam, it was when he was “consulting” for a certain unnamed government agency. He kept his captor talking, trying to make himself human to a man who viewed non-believers as sub-human. That time of course, Dani swooped down and saved the day. He needed to let her know that somehow he’d tangled with some nasty boys. And in the meantime, as the great Chinese general Sun Tzu would have advised, “Pretend inferiority and encourage arrogance.” The great thing about dumb people like Hammer, they never knew they were dumb. They always thought they were the smartest people around. Sort of like the Enron guys.

About the Author
Jeanette Hubbard was brought up in Iowa to be a very good girl. Then she moved to Portland, Oregon the city that prides itself on weird. She has utilized her degree in English from the University of Iowa in a variety of jobs, including driving a school bus, selling car insurance, and growing, (and sometimes killing), plants at her wholesale nursery west of Portland. She now lives with her Border collie Buddy, Mitten the monster cat, her roommate’s two demented small dogs, a miniature horse and two chickens in a small house in SE Portland. Actually, the horse and chickens live in the backyard.
 
Contact Links
 
Website
Twitter
Facebook
Promo Link
Purchase Links
 
Amazon
Powell’s Books
Barnes and Noble
On Sale for $0.99!

 

 
 
 photo readingaddictionbutton_zps58fd99d6.png

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Tumblr
  • Reddit
  • Print
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...

Shopping for a Billionaire’s Wife by Julia Kent – Release Blitz

23 Wednesday Mar 2016

Posted by Elizabeth McKenna - Author in Release Blitz

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Comedy, Contemporary, Humor, Romance

SFABWBook Blurb:

Who needs a SWAT team to escape from their own wedding? Me.

My Momzilla turned us into hostages at our own ceremony, so Declan and I are getting married the good old-fashioned way, just like everybody else.

By calling in his private security team, stealing away before the ceremony by helicopter, connecting to his corporate jet and heading for Las Vegas.

The Boston wedding of the year is about to become a trashy Elvis drive-thru ceremony.

Until the best man spills the beans and Mom, Dad, my sisters, his brothers, my maid of honor, my friend Josh, and even my cat, Chuckles, all come along for the ride.

I can’t win, can I?

Oh. Yeah. I already did.

Love conquers all.

Even my crazy family.

Shopping for a Billionaire’s Wife is the 8th book in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling Shopping for a Billionaire series. After Declan convinces Shannon to escape from their own wedding minutes before the ceremony begins, the madcap adventures are just getting started. When the mother of the bride pries their location out of the tortured best man, the whole crazy crew follows the bride and groom to Las Vegas in this romantic comedy from Julia Kent.

Buy Links: 

iBooks:  http://apple.co/1MakCyR

Amazon US:  http://amzn.to/1MQ6iHe

Amazon UK:  http://amzn.to/1PcrclH

Nook/BN:  http://bit.ly/1UteJ0M

Kobo:  http://bit.ly/1PIOrbz

Google Play:  http://bit.ly/1OMTusz

Print:  http://amzn.to/1QHfwIU

Audiobook:  http://adbl.co/1Ml3l2t

Excerpt:

Bzzzz.

“I’m ready to throw my phone into a running jet engine,” Declan says against my mouth, the vibration of his deep voice making me shiver.

“Better than throwing in my mother,” I joke.

His silence makes me stomach clench.

“Declan!” I say with a nudge.

He laughs, the chuckle a tactile sensation I feel through his chest. My hands are still on his neck and back, and he’s pressing his forehead against mine.

“Let’s not talk about Marie right now,” he says.

“Agreed.”

Without effort, we pivot and return to the path toward the terminal. My wedding dress has a long train, covered in silk, tartan, tulle and what feels like chain mail. Declan seems to anticipate any potential mishap I may experience, expertly shoving various pieces of fabric out of the way so I can move with freedom and grace. Who on earth thought this monstrosity of a wedding dress was a good idea for a July ceremony in Massachusetts?

Oh. Right.

She Who Must Not Be Named.

I love my mom. I do. But I don’t love what the wedding made her become.

We enter the private airport lounge, where a large, thin-screen television is bolted to the ceiling in one corner. When I was a little girl, Dad liked to bring me, Carol and Amy to the local small airport. The place had a diner in it, and we’d order French fries and strawberry milkshakes, spending an hour or two watching the planes land and take off. If we were lucky, a helicopter would come along.

Once, a really friendly pilot let us climb in his plane.

The place is nothing like that little airport. This is where millionaires and billionaires go to avoid the TSA.

The rich really do live different lives than the rest of us.

This lounge is all clean glass and smoky brown leather. If you told me that the same interior designer who decorated James McCormick’s office at Anterdec had done this job, I’d believe you.

It looks like Teddy Roosevelt came back from the dead and demanded his own airport.

The small bar chairs, dark brown and creased with the kind of patina and age that looks shabby on cheaper leather, but chic and old-world sophisticated among the wealthy, are filled with a smattering of men and women, most in their fifties on up.

All of the servers and bartenders are in their twenties, and not a single one has an extra ounce of fat on them. It’s like Crossfit decided to hold a bartender school.

As we walk into the lounge, every single pair of eyes swivels to take us in.

“Why are they staring at us?” I ask Declan, clutching his arm.

“Because you’re wearing a wedding dress and I look like something out of a BBC documentary?” he answers smoothly.

I look down at myself. Look over at him. Take in the kilt, the socks covering his calves, the laces on his special Scottish shoes.

“Oh.”

One of the patrons, a man who is sitting next to a woman who looks like an adventurous traveler and not a mannequin on a rich man’s arm, points to the television, then back to us.

“You two on the run?”

Author Bio:

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge, and new adult books that push contemporary boundaries. From billionaires to BBWs to rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every book she writes, but unlike Trevor from Random Acts of Crazy, she has never kissed a chicken.

Social Media Links:

Website:  http://jkentauthor.blogspot.com/

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/jkentauthor

Twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/jkentauthor

releaseblitzbutton_SFABW

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Tumblr
  • Reddit
  • Print
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
← Older posts

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Follow Elizabeth McKenna on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,674 other subscribers

Facebook

Facebook

Instagram

How is this comfortable? #dog #dogsleeping

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Recent Posts

  • Moving is Murder by Nellie H. Steele – Book Tour and Giveaway
  • Death Checked Out by Leah Dobrinska – Book Tour and Giveaway
  • Sleuthing in Stilettos by Debra Sennefelder – Book Tour and Giveaway
  • Ghost Agents: Retribution by Nita DeBorde – Book Tour and Giveaway
  • A Dress the Color of the Moon by Jennifer Irwin – Book Tour and Giveaway

Action Adult Adult Fiction Adventure Australia Authors Book Tour Carnival Chick-Lit Christmas Comedy Comtemporary Contemporary Contemporary Romance cozy mystery Crime crime fiction Dystopian Epic Erotic Erotica Family Saga Fantasy Fiction Giveaway Gothic Historical Historical Romance holiday Hot Humor India Indian inspirational Interracial Interviews Kindle London Love Mafia Magic Masks Memoir military Multicultural Murder Mystery Mystery New Adult Non-Fiction Organized Crime Paranormal Psychological Thriller Regency Reviews Romance Romantic Suspense Science Fiction Series Spiritual Sports Steamy suspense Sweet Sweet Romance Thriller Time Travel Vampires Venice Victorian war Western Women's Fiction Women Sleuths YA Young Adult

RSS Link

  • RSS - Posts
  • RSS - Comments
Escape with Dollycas"

Check out Elizabeth McKenna's latest release!

When Luke is arrested for the murder of the head coach of his club softball team, Emma and Grace go up against cutthroat parents willing to kill for a chance to get their daughters onto a premier college sports team.

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Elizabeth McKenna
    • Join 476 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Elizabeth McKenna
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: